|
Is He/She A Safe Partner?
Physical attraction should be the sole sufficient condition to copulate
without restraints. But you also have to think about the consequences:
the risk of a pregnancy and of contacting a STD
. "He/she does not seem
like the type who might come up with unpleasant surprises" is an apology
and not a valid justification.
One night stands hold the supremacy regarding sexual spontaneity and
energy; the circumstances vary from a holiday, a few extra drinks,
a much too longer period of abstinence or the need to start a
relationship.
Two partners who do not know each other for a long time are very
drawn to each other and want to have sex
. The problem concerning
"with/without a condom" should not be brought into discussion;
the arguments against using protection are very weak. They cannot
give their partner the maximum of trust based on "she/he has
beautiful eyes", "she/he does not seem the kind of person
who carries diseases", if the partner has a similar background,
shares the same circle of friends, or seems intelligent.
These are not relative. Important is the fact that the person
in your sack can bring about "unimaginable happiness"
to carry you through hospitals for a long time. From this point
of view we consider the perspective of using a condom
to be more lightening.
People are sexual beings
and sex represents a motivational factor
in our lives. Going beyond the short term satisfaction sex brings,
there is the much more important aspiration for a deep relationship.
The subconscious influences and controls your reactions regarding
those around: desire - smelling a nice perfume; repulsion - towards
a pair of fake breasts and lip implants looking like bee stings;
excitation - a distant memory of a first love stirred up by the
nape of a person sitting in your front; lack of interest -
a curious invisibility that excludes those who do not match your
criteria regarding a sexual reaction.
Some of these influences
are instinctive, genetic or even irrational (a pair of naughty
breasts almost instantly cheers up men, while athletic, beautiful
men make women's hearts pump real fast). Other influences can be
cultural (the use of skinny persons with androgynous features as
symbols of beauty) or connected to our history (being attracted by
those who resemble us, one of our parents).
It is important to talk before the actual intercourse to set up your
boundaries, consider the whole sphere of physical and emotional
consequences that result from a sexual relationship and put the
conversation in those contexts. Consider that STDs are outcomes
hard to discuss and resolve. Do not base on the fact that you
will be able to observe a sign of disease
because most of them
have no visible symptoms. An open talk regarding this issue
is a proof of cautiousness, sensitivity and respect for oneself.
It is much easier than it sounds. Plus, you will be more
relaxed after all risks are being set aside.
|
